What are you holding on to?

"When a train goes through a tunnel and gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. Never be afraid to trust your unknown future to a known God." ~ Corrie ten Boom


Have you ever been afraid, gripped by fear of the unknown?
Fear of failure. Fear of losing control.

Fear is like a chain that holds us in place.
Anchored by our insecurities and inabilities, we don't want to "rock the boat".
So, we remain anchored.


13 years ago, I feared I would never become a mother. After two heartbreaking miscarriages, I was told I may not be able to carry a baby to term. I remember thinking I'd rather never become a mother than to go through the pain of losing another child.

Would I allow my fear of death and emotional pain keep me from fulfilling my dream of motherhood? Or... Would I try to become pregnant for a third time, hoping my baby would live?

Nine months after my 2nd failed pregnancy, I became pregnant.
Becoming pregnant was supposed to be a joyous time. For me, pregnancy was a mix of fear and trepidation. Each day of my pregnancy was a walk in faith. Controlled by my fear of death and the lack of faith I placed in my faulty womb, I began to realize that I was not in control. I could not give nor take away life. God was in control. He wanted me to have faith in His plan.

Isaiah 41:13 says, "For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."

One of the greatest days of my life was when my son Aaron was born. What joy to hold my newborn and to finally become a mother! That joy was even sweeter because of the lessons my faith taught me. I learned that you can't hold onto faith when you are holding onto fear. You must let go of one to grasp the other. "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." ~Hebrews 11:1

Today, my son Aaron and I walked into middle school for his 6th grade orientation. New school. New hours. New classmates. New teachers. 8 classrooms. Lockers/combinations. Changing classes in 4 minutes.

Fear of the unknown gripped me. Wanting to reach for the hand of my boy; the son who gave birth to a mother, I knew he no longer needed me in that way. The way in which I had held his hand for all the other milestones in his life, I knew that this would not be one of them.

But that was okay. Someone else was already holding on...